all good things ...

in a stunt i believe was designed for spite, ronnie pulled into the next rest station under the auspices of suspecting one of his front tires was low. the kids emptied the car listlessly. debbie, worried that the family gloom might be noticed, unleashed a nauseating deluge of compensatory pep to create the shiny facade of sham happiness. she shrugged off the morbid utter silence and inertia she maintained in the car with uncanny ease, chortling franticly at each groan and grunt that the three boys made as they shuffled toward the toilets. when they were safely out of sight she attempted to recruit me into her charade. she chirped brightly about how fine the weather was, and we should roll down the windows for the rest of the drive to let the fresh air in. i indulged her for a bit with responses that rivalled the banality of her simulation-chatter. after a minute or two i told her i was hungry and made like i was going to go check out the snack shack. as i walked off i could hear her futile giggling attempts to distract ronnie who had now turned his rampant aggression on the elderly mechanic who fate handed the hapless task of inspecting their car.

instead of walking to the snack shack, i headed directly toward the exit of the men's room. i leaned against the wall near the water fountain. i bent one knee and pressed the sole of my imitation birkenstock flush against the wall so that i could drum my fingers on my thigh as i watched the door. when the boys finally came out - still silent, still grim - i told them that something came up and i wouldn't be able to ride with them any more. then i disappeared into the snack shack and hoped that debbie wouldn't try to find me.

i wandered the aisles for a full half hour before i could be sure that debbie wasn't coming for me. when i was sure she was gone i grabbed a king size bag of red vines, decided to skip waiting on the check out line that was 20 families deep, shoved the bag into my backpack and headed over to the picnic tables. i needed to figure out my next move.